Pattison on Wheels

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Hasta Bebé

So what I am considering is a hypothesis that goes something like this: As long as I pretend to be OK when I’m not, I won’t feel OK. The idea is that by covering up my distress I am more or less sealing the problem into my life such that it won’t get solved. I know this is not new but it riffs off my experience yesterday when I noticed my discomfort and that gave me choice to feel differently—which I then did. It was so dramatic and pleasant that I would like to understand it more deeply.

I got packed up just before it started raining this Valentine’s Day morning. Which is good because I would hate to pack a bunch of wet gear and tent. My Mexico insurance begins at 1PM so I have a little time to prep for the crossing. I am already worried about the return crossing because the car is such a jumble of gear and food and clothes and random items that I brought along “just in case.” So I shall look at my worry about the border and how it makes me feel and how it is connected to the bizarre history I have in crossing the border including one 13 kilo smuggling success and one stoned clumsy failure with consequences that won’t ever go away.

I get nice email from friends. I chatted with my Mom today warning her that the cell phone won’t work while I’m in Mexico. She said it won’t be the first time she hadn’t heard from me for two weeks. That’s true.

I bought a map of Baja, a camping guide, and an English-Spanish/Spanish-English dictionary. One more stop at REI. Hasta bebé!


  • I like this "As long as I pretend to be OK when I’m not, I won’t feel OK. " The times I feel a situation is toxic, know it is, and pretend it isn't undoubtedly lead me to consequences from which I must always recover. Thanks for putting your lessons out there for all of us to read, to learn with you, long distance. H

    By Anonymous Anonymous, At February 15, 2008 9:01 AM  

  • So glad that I was on the phone with you as you crossed the border... stupid cell phones! Love you so much!

    By Blogger TKV, At February 15, 2008 9:55 AM  

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